Monthly Archives: August 2012

Nightly Thought: Conversations

It’s one of those nights where I’m just thinking about everything.

Random things that have happened the past week and what not.

And what I’ve realized is that most people don’t ever give me a chance to talk.

So lately I just smile and nod and listen to people go on about their lives because i know they don’t give a hell what I have to say about it. They just want someone to brag to or listen to their problems

So lately I’ve totally given up on having an actual conversation with someone.

The funniest part about it is when i try to give my opinion on what they’re saying or when i try to tell a story of my own to compliment their story they just totally talk over me and just start talking to someone else.

I don’t think people realize how self-absorbed or narcissist they sound most of time.

I mean everyone gets excited and goes on and on about things happening in their lives from time to time. But, lately all I hear from people are the story of their lives, everyday. 

Don’t get me wrong I do like learning about people but It would be nice to have a conversation. Instead of a one-sided one.

You know those conversations you have with someone and you’re both exchanging stories and you know the other one cares about what you have to say just as much as you care about what they have to say.

That’s what I want from people.

I just want an even exchange of words. Not just me nodding and smiling while you go off about how your boyfriend or girlfriend is the greatest person on earth and they bought you this and took you here. Like, seriously I get it. Thanks for asking how my day was today 🙂 … not !

I love those conversations you have with people when you start going into your hopes and dreams. Those are my favorite. You like dive into the persons secret consciousness and find out everything that has been stored there since they were a child. Because every dream someone has is rooted from their inner child. I feel as though someones hopes and dreams really allows you to get to know the real them. You strip away the artificial bullshit coating they have and see this soft, vulnerable person. I think it’s amazing.

Those conversations are rare though. Most are the everyday, bragging, bitching,boring conversations.

Hopefully some day soon someone will show me genuine conversation isn’t dead.

I’ll get it started … What are your thoughts on this blog ? Do you feel the same way? Do people make you feel your words and thoughts don’t count on daily basis by their poor conversation skills? Let’s get this rolling.


Faith Within Herself

She looks at the others and wonders how their faith comes so easily

Drenched in doubt and self loathing , she wonders how she can believe in anything

She looks toward the sky crying, pleading, screaming “give me a sign that my life means something”- No reply.

Running towards the cross,she feels emptiness that slowly turns into rage

It’s 11 am the chapel doors slam,service comes to a halt and through the silence she screams “why can you see things that I can’t see ?”

Hundreds of eyes stare but once again she’s left with only silence

Shes broken, her faith left her ages ago

No one can understand the pain that made her that way

And she cries because there’s no one left to turn to

everyone has their rock, their faith, their place in this world and shes left on the outside of it all.

Accepting that her place is only in loneliness she looks towards the sky and doesn’t look for answers to her life , but she looks up and realizes that she can see the beauty and calm of the world all on her own.

she finally found faith in something greater, she found faith within her self.