Monthly Archives: August 2011

What You Call Light Is My Darkness.

I’ve always run away from the light

Never knowing why darkness was my haven

Why am I unafraid of the creatures of the night

but angels scare me half to death

White feathered wings, and beautiful glowing halos

Make me run and hide

This reverse terror makes me question who I am inside

But i’ve figured out I’m a coward I know these demons won’t judge me

I let them hang around, they expect nothing from me, and I like it that way

The angels give me  an unapproved look when they see all the sins that ive committed

Their light exposes my dark and I stand out to the saints, I cant stand it

So I’d rather Hide in the dark,blend in and fade away

 

 

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I killed Myself Baby,Cause I’ma Loser.

This blood loss makes me weak

Been trying to talk myself out of this mutilation for weeks

Don’t you dare try to touch me nothing you do will make me feel alright

Close my eyes, try to breathe but these tears wont stop ,no surprise

I feel lonely for the last time,my little self-esteem problem makes me say goodnight

And I know No one will notice when I’m gone

Never let anyone close enough to see what they’d be missing if I’d ever leave

I’ll take my last breath, and no one will miss me when the bloods all gone

I’ll say hi to the angels or devils for all the friends that I could have made

But I lost them somewhere along the way

When I was bleeding out, they were out

I take a walk through these  pearly white gates god says “Hey, Get the fuck out, we don’t have room for you in this place.”

Even in death im rejected

What else should I have expected

I’m A loner,I’m A loser who has no friends

Jesus christ himself wouldn’t of  loved me, if I hung myself on the cross instead

I close my eyes for the last time, I dream of the dark

I guess I don’t mind that fact that I don’t belong anywhere

Well,I’ll just pretend like I don’t care.

 

 

 

 

InTact,Detached?

 

Sometimes I just feel like ripping myself apart. Turning myself inside-out, to understand why I am the I am. To understand why I feel the way I feel, because I know I’m the only person that cares to figure it out. I’m the only one that takes the time to see whats inside of me. I’ll die knowing the only person who really knew me,was me.  To show a piece of my soul for any human to see  would be worthless it  would just be thrown away like Thursdays trash. The depth of a person is no longer relevant in this modern life. The rich have more important places to be and things to see, and the poor well they’re not looking for souls, the poor they’re digging around trash hoping for gold. Distractions of this artificial world are leading us to lose sight of our selves. No longer are we exploring into the further,further into our selves,into lovers,into our world. I have to rip myself apart to keep me grounded. I’ve spent all these years thinking I was the one detached from everyone else. Now I’m beginning to realize maybe I’m the only one that stayed intact.

You Wanted To Be A King, Wish granted -The King Of Failure

I remember the day you said I’d be nothing without you

My stomach sank because for a moment I thought it might be true

Now im the one moving on and im the one growing

You’re stuck inside your twisted ways

Your roots unable to form deeper in the dirt

You’ve stunted your own growth with the poison that leaves you deteriorating

In your mind your superior, the hallucinogens have altered you

You’re in a different universe

In reality your nose is pointed in a corner and your staring at wall

Your feet keep moving but you’re going nowhere, you’re going nowhere at all.

 

 

YOU

You’re so beautiful ,and you have no clue.

The way you stare when you’re thinking

God you’re so cute I could eat you up, I would devour you.

I wonder if you know how fast my heart pounds when I look at you

I wonder if you know I’d turn myself inside out just to make you smile if you were blue

Because I’ve been to hell and back then hell again

I’ve been waiting for my heaven , and the heaven I found was you.

I Was Suffocated, But Now I Have Fresh Air In My Lungs

I find myself to be an empty shell with nothing ,but scrapes and bruises.

I am almost translucent.

I don’t see much for my future,until I escape you and learn to give my self depth.

The depth I never had a chance to get.

You punched and kicked to steal it from me.

I’m finally free, free of the blood I used to drowned in.

My empty shell,weighed down by regret,I would sink to the bottom.

I’ve learned to let go, hold my breath and float to the top.

I take my first gasp of air, and today’s the day I learn to breathe again.